d'oh!

Q: What is the area of a circle?
A: pi R^2?
R: Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.

x : + - x : + - x : + - x : + - x : + - x : + -

Simple Question:
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Answers from different persons:
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

ANY CALCULUS PROFESSOR: The road, if expressed in
the form (y2-y1)/(x2-x1) is approximate for cases
where lim(y2-y1)/(x2-x1) as (x2-x1) -> 0, is
represented by the derivative, or rate of change, of
the road with respect to the chicken, such that the
value of the chicken may be assumed equal to the
value of (y2-y1)/(x2-x1), for small values of roads.

ANY PHILOSOPHY PROFESSOR: Why not?

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross
roads.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the
road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your
frame of reference.

SIR ISAAC NEWTON: Chickens at rest tend to stay at
rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken
Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook.

PETER NORTON: It was a virus and it saw me coming...

DR. HANNIBAL LECTOR: So I could eat its liver, with
some fava beans and a nice chianti
.......thththththththth.

COBOL CHICKEN:
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY
1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

COLONEL SANDERS: What, I missed one?


[source: the net]